How can you tell for sure that you are Greek

  1. If you have ever been hit by a ‘pantofla’.
  2. If you grew up scared by something called ‘baboula’.
  3. If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
  4. If you light a candle to Virgin Mary (Panayia) on the night before your big test.
  5. If you use your chin to point something out.
  6. If you have at least 2 relatives within walking distance.
  7. If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner, even  if it’s a one bedroom apartment.
  8. If you attended, graduated or dropped out of Greek School.
  9. If during Greek Easter you take off from work for religious reasons, and  attend the Epitafio at NIGHT.
  10. If you become sick and anemic because you did not eat meat.
  11. If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some ‘Vick’s vapor rub’ all over your chest and inside your nostrils.
  12. Your mom packs your ‘kolatso’ and makes your bed every day even though you’ve just turned thirty-two.
  13. If at least 2 other cousins have the same name as you or if you have at least 3 cousins with same name.
  14. If you hated fakes, bamies, or fasolakia as a kid, but started enjoying them as you grew up.